The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
