I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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