So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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