Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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