After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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