No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
