So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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