Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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