Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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