So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
