Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
