if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
