We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
