im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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