Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
