he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
