So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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