the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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