after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
