I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
