So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
