A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm too high and old for this...
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
