his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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