cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
