I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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