hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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