whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
