Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
