No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
