This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
