If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
