just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
