She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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