i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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