I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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