you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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