I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
