Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
