508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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