so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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