I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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