You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
