Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
