Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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