Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
