hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
