Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
