Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
