You really coming over, don't trick.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
