Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
