now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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