I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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