Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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