is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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