I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
