Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
