I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
