I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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