i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
