so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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