she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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